"A cat is eating the rotting flesh of a pterodactyl

"A cat is eating the rotting flesh of a pterodactyl in my backyard, and I am wondering why and how this could happen..." That was how my call to the police began.

I couldn't remember what it was "I" had eaten that would push me to claim there was a dead dinosaur in the backyard, but I hoped the officer at the other end of the line

could not track my address from my phone. My hopes went out of the window, as the officer showed up an hour later, declaring that I was high. Indeed, I was on a ladder, and smoking

some lettuce , I had been scammed by my dealer and I was smoking lettuce and the effects that it was giving me were purely a placebo effect of me wanting so desperately to be high

. I guess 5 bucks a pop was too good to be true. So I moved onto smoking herb for real; cilantro, rosemary, and parsley were my go to herbs.I'm pretty sure those worked better than

the crack I snorted off my best friend's ass last summer. I needed to get into a real high. However, I later found that the best results were achieved by gathering up copious amoun

ts of gummybears and snack on them throughout the day. Once you start feeling nauseous, keep going and soon you'll feel the effects. It was a new experience for me and decided to

share it with all the children.So I painted "FREE SWEETS" all over my old minivan,drove around and tried to pass out g-bears to every child I saw.Some had to be convinced a little.

Lemon flavours sold well, as did strawberry. Anxiety was lower if the sweets were homemade. That's what I found out. My mum helped me out and made them even better. Renaming them

to something that the human brain subconsciously filters out, but also experiences feelings of desire in the process. The psychology hack worked, and soon, everyone was addicted.