Canuck Lovers and Canadian Mounties swear
- Canuck Lovers and Canadian Mounties swear by our patented moose musk recipe pills. Never go on a camping trip without a supply! Don't be gunshy! Order now and we'll add this
- bazooka to your order, free of charge with 20 complimentary shells." I turned down the volume as the phone rang. It seemed to be that telemarketer again. -Si hola?, I answered.
- "Hola, si," answered the telemarketer. "I've hacked into your credit card and the payment's gone through successfully! The bazooka will be shipped direct from a nearby warzone. Tha
- t will be $20,000, adios!" I hung up the phone, that is the last time I will try to speak Spanish on 1-800-FLOWERS. A week later, the bazooka was on my doorstep. IKEA instructions
- were only in Swedish. Damn those Spanish-Sweeds telephone operators! I did my best to assemble the bazooka, but I had a handful of leftover pieces. The picture looked right, so I
- I rested the quickly assembled bazooka on my right shoulder and fired. Red Swedish fish were propelled out and punctured a hole in my apt wall. Well, the directions were Swedish.
- When I looked through the new hole in my apt wall I saw my neighbor chocking on the floor covered with Swedish Fish. I tried the Heimlich maneuver, but the Swedish fish was stuck
- ! As his face began turning blue, I quickly tried to get my neighbor to tell me what he'd done with all the stuff he borrowed from me. "Use sign language!"" I urged him before he
- faded away. "Man, I should have done CPR, at least then I would have known what he did with all my stuff!" I turned and walked away as ambulances and chasers arrived. My neighbor
- Laughed violently, holding his AK47 shooting all the ambulances. I ducked in cover, wondering why he became such a maniac. Their screams echoed throughout my head, and I fainted.
- Started
- 2013-05-05 17:41:47
- Finished
- 2013-07-12 20:21:23
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PurpleProf Jul 13 2013 @ 02:43
Haha! Good one!!