After the professor finished her lecture,

After the professor finished her lecture, she turned to a student and asked "What did you learn from this?" The student looked up from his notes and said, "I AM GROOT!"

"GREAT SCOTCH!" cried the professor, as he launched his desk so the pens and papers scattered all over the floor. The professor knew Groot from his daughter's old school, so he

was shocked that this ne'er-do-well would know anything of scotch whisky, not to mention such a top shelf variety. "Groot! This is a remarkable single malt," said the professor.

"Its a single cask whiskey, my home brew."" said Ned. "I'm sure the University will bestow an honorary degree in Spiritology if you lead me to your cask!" said Prof. Smolensky.

Smolensky had been the only obstacle to my full professorship, so I cheerfully offered to lead him to my cask in the caverns beneath Chernobrisk. Broccoli-wolves greeted us when we

arrived in the cavern, he glanced around completely spooked out. "Why are we here?" he asked visiblly shaking. "Oh you'll see." I said darkly. He looked at me in surprise. The

hatred in my heart for him was barely concealed in my voice at this point. His acrid scent pleased me; it was the scent of fear. "Just a few more steps now," The cavern walls were

slimy and lit by an unearthly green glow. In the darkness he couldn't see the anticipation in my eyes as he tripped over a craggy stalagmite jutting up from the cavern floor. Hel

p finding a contact lens was kind but hopeless in this cave. "Curse your superior vision," he muttered and swung something heavy at me in the dark. It crashed against a huge

toe. A creature was filing its helpless nail relentlessly, and blindness only allowed me to hear the sound the poor toe was making. It went something like "Shweeee, pik pik shwee"