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It's been a week now since my wife left for

  • It's been a week now since my wife left for her mothers. I slept Surprisingly well for the first few nights of her absence, it felt great to come home to a quiet house.
  • Then the next few nights I grew restless. I'd said the words before, but now I realized that I really missed her. I missed my wife's breathing beside me. I missed the smell of
  • her as I held her during the night. But my wife was gone. Abducted. By mutant alien ninja genetically modified tomato plant ferret hybrids. Damn.
  • the mutant-alien ninja-tomato-ferret-hybrids were after my wife's garden, you see. That's what I keep telling the men in the funny white coats every time they come to my door.
  • And they come by daily, around 2 PM. And I show them my wife's garden. They verify it is real, and a likely target for mutant-alien ninja-tomato-ferret-hybrids. Satisfied, they
  • settled under a nearby oak tree to eat their vegemite sandwiches & wait, sure they'd spot the mutant creatures before sundown. But, much to my chagrin, the mutants didn't appear &
  • invisible dogs came to scout out the tree, er, that's what I think they are. You can see the trickling light emmitting off whatever light warping body is there. Began its sandwhich
  • with pickle dust. Next, added braunschweiger for texture and fat. This drew the invisible dogs away from the dark and over to our laser field, in order to ascertain their shapes
  • and hem lengths. Laser field tailoring was a relatively new fad, and having the socially moble nvisible dogs as clients was sure to be good for business. The pickle dust was also
  • a favorite among the transparent hounds - a light dusting revealed them to the world, and a delicious self-licking hid them again. No doubt: dog fashion was IN this season.
Started
2014-05-23 12:42:30
Finished
2016-01-04 21:48:06

5 Comments

  1. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jan 18 2016 @ 16:52

    LOL, you are ALL crazy (except maybe DjDashy). 49er doesn't get off the hook either. :-)
  2. Avatar

    49erFaithful Jan 19 2016 @ 19:46

    I think I've seen this movie before.
  3. Avatar

    hamstak Jan 19 2016 @ 21:15

    @49erFaithful: directed by whom? I just read this imagining Woody Allen as the narrator. Disturbing.
  4. Avatar

    49erFaithful Jan 19 2016 @ 23:50

    1980s pre-Reservoir Dogs Tarantino. Some really broken up plot line but it works!
  5. Avatar

    Crazydance Jan 20 2016 @ 15:14

    I ain't crazy! It's not like I have it in my name or anything!

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