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He took it personally. He felt personally

  • He took it personally. He felt personally touched by this coupon for 50% off the buffet at
  • Food Lion. The sneeze guard had long since surpassed its sneeze threshold, but he scooped some cukes with the rusty ladle, unfazed. "Ladle-to-the-Grave," quipped the coroner after
  • the last of the cucumbers had been removed from his torso. "You can't scoop long vegetables with a ladle and expect to survive." The coroner then pushed his corpse into
  • The blender and made a puree of the vegetables after they were washed and peeled and sliced. "Who wants to taste this?", the coroner asked everyone.
  • Noone volunteerd.I mean who wants to chug down a coroners veggie smoothie? Who knows how veggie it really is? The coroner frowned. His smoothies were all natural and
  • loaded with protein and the formaldehyde in them gave them an interesting tang. Finally, a zombie staggered up to the counter. "What'll it be, my dead fellow?" asked the coroner.
  • "Braaaiiins," the zombie droned. "How cliché," the coroner retorted. "You could have asked for anything, liver and onions, seared pancreas, or a nice simmered gall bladder but no a
  • pplesauce closer. You passed all of these to ask for brains. As a zombie you will have forever to eat brains but this is the only opportunity for you to have a Culinary Coroneer co
  • stume that fits your long arms. Take it and try it, but be careful with your makeup. Last time we had a zombie in the store, half of our outfits were stained with green lipstick.
  • I must admit, I felt a bit sullen as the zombie turned and sulked; it shuffled its mangled and disease-infested body toward the door. Its pus-filled eyelids will forever haunt me!
Started
2012-03-24 20:31:41
Finished
2017-07-02 22:31:06

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    m80 Jul 02 2017 @ 22:56

    I feel personally touched by this story.

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