A Levantine man approached my house yesterday.

He was carrying lobsters in his suitcase, which squirmed uncontrollably. "Can you fix this for me", he asked. One lobster got loose and said, "Hiya!" whilst the water broke loose

and splashed across the floor. Well, that's what happens.

And that's what did happen. There was no time to celebrate. I had to cross 1000 miles through a barren wasteland in 4 hours on foot. This wasn't going to be easy. I saddled my

cheetah so my pet collie could ride in comfort. After a mile I threw chivalry to the winds and rode the animal myself. Bye, Lassie! I was now on schedule, but a desert traffic cop

caught me riding a cheetah outside the savannah with no permit.My cheetah was confiscated & I continued on foot to the sea where I pretended distress to ride a dolphin name Flipper

. The saddle straps slipped and I went under in more ways than one. Flipper was too smart for his own good. For a time he took control of the reins and

I discovered how much I loved being a woman and a woman's body and soul in the arms of a worthy lover whose joy drives and is driven by her joy as well. Flipper was my first.

But since Flipper had no arms to put around my body and soul, he was not my only love. Wretched fins! From there I went on to lovers with more human appendages. My world was

bland and boring as the never-ending parade of vanilla suitors marched in and out of my duplex. No moment topped that one special night I spent with Flipper. No moment ever will.