It was a dark and stormy night. As frozen

It was a dark and stormy night. As frozen snowflakes beat against the lead windows, Kris Kringle was dipping his wick in Mrs. Claus's hot bubbling wax.

Pulling candles on Boxing day was a yearly tradition for the Clauses.They were magical flairs needed for the stormy winter nights at the North Pole and during St. Nicks yearly ride

in the Boston Pub crawl. That's when St. Nick got really hammered. He once puked in his bag of gifts. He was cited by officer Greenberg for operating his sleigh drunk.

"Cumzin, offisher-fishy-fish. Youve canna impound my vehicle. Tink ova the children." He fell forward in a heap. Blitzen stood between the Santa and the cop. "He wasn't always like

this, Officer. Mrs. Claus left him last week." The officer raised an eyebrow at the timid reindeer. "Don't worry we'll drive him straight home, officer, and put him in bed."

"I'm gonna need you to put both hooves on the back of the sled," the officer told Dasher. "We don't want any trouble, Officer," said Comet. "Resisting arrest, eh?" He drew his club

influence of eggnog, and was taken to jail to dry out. Comet and Dasher escaped to the North Pole, where they had sovereignty. Dancer became a hit hoofer on Dancing With The Stars,

And Rudolph? He went back to being reindeera-non-grata. The other reindeer knew his fame arose only from a cheesy song, whereas theirs arose from a respected holiday poem. Rudolph

eventually wandered off and ended up having a fulfilling career as a State Senator in Nebraska where his reindeer roots were taken in stride. He died playing reindeer games.