Business had been slow since I'd solved the

Business had been slow since I'd solved the case of the missing Eskimo. In the last week I'd tidied up my files, made a few phone calls and polished off a bottle or 3. When a dame

clipped clopped into my office.She rattled on and on about a lost relative.She wasn't too coherent only specific about the physical description of her "rich" Uncle."My retainer is

Is just about up. You'll have to come up with some more" "You retainer is up. $10.000 in 1/2 an hour! What kind of shyster are you?" "A rich one and very successful. Pay up or get

your beef walk on. don't be crop dusting around here unless you bring cash. I don't smell any one's farts for free, nope. You gotta retain me if you're

hoping to walk me, Lucy Brown, Lucy Brown, she's a-hopin' to walk, Lucy Borwin, Lucy Borwin, but I don't a-wanna be walked no more, no I don't a-wanna wake up no more, because I'm

sittin' in this kennel a waitin' for my bowl. yea." Lucy Brown had just about had it with her Bluesy Hound. He was always looking at her with those puppy eyes.

And her hunger in those days was almost overwhelming, but the dog, stupid as he was, kept her company in the wasteland. He wasn't going to be dinner - yet. No, today she had a plan

to grow hydroponic tomatoes, squash, beans and corn in the old missile silos. All she needed was vast amounts of water, nutrients, seeds and sunshine, all of which had perished.

Bummer. They were therefore forced into cannibalism. But who would they eat first? They considered their options and finally settled on Kim Kardashian because of her

big ol'booty. We could eat 4days! But then we decided otherwise, she needed to go first, wegrabbed HoneyBooBoo (well, the kid cant run 2 fast) and put her in the pot. LIfe is Good!