I had no life, at least in part due to my

I had no life, at least in part due to my being an unapologetic cheapskate. Then they opened a Discount Life Mart off of the freeway just a few miles down. This was exactly the

low low prices I've been seeking for my life. The spruiker outside the store indicated that for a limited time only all stock was massively reduced at never to be repeated prices.

Oh boy oh boy oh boy, went a little voice in my head as I entered the shop. I loaded my Costco cart with 124 rolls of toilet paper, a coconut boring tool, fake rabbit ears,

'The Lucy Show' complete DVD collection, one gross of frozen cream puffs, and a drum of industrial degreaser. My little voice knew I was saving a ton for Christmas at Costco.

But then my little voice knew everything. It even knew about.Marco. Even I'd tried to forget. Marco, the Costco, we will always have that case of 87 bottles of bug spray, oh Marco

you old fool. What are you even going to do with all those bottles of bug spray! Oh, Marco! Marco! My lover, my friend! How could you let Costco get the best of you! You fool!

"Well, maybe next week they'll have a deal on bugs" Marco offered. "Marco, why would we want bugs as well?" questioned Marcia. "So we can use the bug spray!" Marco declared proudly

before heading off to the Silk Road, which as everyone knows is infested with silkworms. Marcia wrote to Marco several times, but her letters were eaten by bookworms. So they never

did get around to that game of water polo Marco had promised Marcia. Marco did go to China & brought back noodles. Marcia only tipped him a peek at her ankle. Marco says Mongolian

Beef in China isn’t as good as it is at home. But Marco learned China has great hot dogs, and he brought Marcia back a 10-pack. Marcia just glared at him. “So where are the rolls?"