Y el colegio tembló de emoción, se había

Y el colegio tembló de emoción, se había trabajado tanto y luchado tanto, que hasta el edificio sintió la necesidad de vibrar de entusiasmo, hoy era el día de recoger la cosecha...

said to me the old mexican elder. He was telling me the ancient prophecy, which I naively passed off as drivel. Little did I know that my whole life would change today.

I found myself stranded at the bus stop. I was surrounded by heat and sand, just as the Mexican elder's prophecy had stated. I was scared, but I told myself it was all in my head.

Of course, I told myself the live rattlesnake hiding in my trousers six years ago was 'all in my head' too, and we all know how that turned out. Tired, hungry, and deserted, I

finally had a "vision" like grandpa talked about. My body had been pushed and I saw, a spirit horse come galloping through a rip in the sky and its teeth were bloody and

I knew it was coming for me, to carry me alongside horsemen Death and Pestilence and War through the endtimes, and I watched myself burn the world. At that point the salvia

horse's gallop. We raced to the dam, where they began to scoop up the water with their red buckets, just as fast as it was coming through the tear in the dam. 'Go faster, or I can

't vouch for the safety of the lilliputians. But the tear in the dam opened further and all our bucketing was in vain. So we inflated tiny lifesavers out of a pack of condoms I had

, which, being the sensative variety, kept popping when we tried to use them. In the end, we found ourselves screwed by condoms again.