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"You really want to get this tattoo today?"

  • "You really want to get this tattoo today?" Avery asked Gen wearily. He pulled out a cigarette and let dangle between his dry lips, cursing himself for having so many pockets

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  • Gen said nothing, but simply lay facedown on the table and bared her bottom. "OK," Avery sighed. "But for the life of me, I can't understand why you want to tattoo his face on your

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  • Grandma, nor why you chose butt-recognition as the security feature on your tattooinator 3000." With a whir the machine ok'd her butt and the man's face began to appear on Grandma

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  • 's left cheek. "That feels funny. Wait a minute! That's not what I ordered." She wanted the photo-realistic tattoo on her shoulder. Gran stepped away from the Tattooinator 3000

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  • & towards the Tattooinator 4500. Her crinkly blue eyes sparkled. "What's THIS?" she asked, rubbing her gnarly fingers over the gleaming steel. "Sorry, Granny, you're too old

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  • "Too old?" the woman replied. I wasn't too old last night when we made love under the tractor beneath the weeping willows. I wasn't too old when you promised me forever.

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  • I felt the guilt seep through my body, but all I could do was shake my head and turn my back. I hated doing this, but now that I had stolen the cash, I couldn't stay

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  • with him. "Please, Jake, don't leave me!" he cried, and I held back a sob as I abandoned my partner in crime. We'd been through so much, but the money wasn't enough to bail him out

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  • of candy jail. Knowing Jake it would dawn on him in a couple weeks at best that he could simply eat his way out. Candy jail tends to be rather minty, though, and that cinnamon

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  • Courtyards are littered with bon bons in metal tins which are reusable. Jake collected tins of bon bons, tossed them at the guards, and became a mouse. Freedom at last!

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