METAL GEAR SOLID 57. "I envision Snake as

METAL GEAR SOLID 57. "I envision Snake as pure Soup," Hideo Kojima was saying. "Using his soup powers he infiltrates a super school bus on a field trip to the Neo-Tesla Emporium

but was stopped. TESLA, the actual band, was sitting there on loungers sipping apple martinis. Hideo Kojima took this opportunity to

Slip arsenic into the fried snakefruits on the table before heading home to Fsfhffghhy.

Since that is the end of our protagonist,I suggest we use the rest of the story as an extended eulogy.We know little about him,but it is safe to say he was born & he died trying to

find his car keys. He was a man of few words, many of them being, "Have you seen my keys? I could swear they were right here a second ago." He is survived by his

son, who was born in the driveway beside the front passenger door, & inherited his dad's forgetfulness. He's a scientist, & was in charge of testing the Challenger's O-ring seals.

Or was it the P ring seals? He forgot. He stood there quite a while trying to work out whether or not the seals were for oxygen or for pee, and if the seals could snout-juggle.

Without thinking he

clicked on the big gray button. "Oh no!" His fold was left unfinished, previous plots pushed aside. Fold. Pass. The End. Or was it?