I was gone so long. How could I let this

I was gone so long. How could I let this happen? Time has slipped through my thoughts, my hands, my memory. I have to reconnect. Last I remember was leaving Chicago,a flight

was canceled, so I ended up in a rental car with a woman with those peculiar cigarettes. "They let you travel through time" she said. I thought she was being metaphorical. 23 years

on, I realised that I was never going to be able to escape this nightmare Groundhog Day year! I always ended up in this stinking car with her and those darn cigarettes. Time travel

d yourself on Southwest Airlines. It was like being the white ball in a skanky roulette wheel operated by bush-league middle managers in North Vegas. So Bert started drinking and

didn't stop drinking until he reached Alaska. But where were his new green gloves? He reached

into his pockets and pulled out a

small green beetle called Jeff.

Jeff was angry that family time had been interrupted, so he swore profusely and hung up. "Oh well", thought the small green beetle, "that's just part of being a telemarketer." He

paused to enjoy a cracker dipped in dung sauce and then went merrily back to work. As the phone rang, he thought to himself, ``A stranger is just a friend you haven`t met.``