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"Just because I asked a friend about her,

  • "Just because I asked a friend about her, just because I spoke her name somewhere, just because I called her number by mistake today, she thinks I still care" she sang, showering.
  • She continued singing in the shower and as she reached for her towel she started to ponder what she could do to get out of her unhappiness.
  • Meanwhile downstairs Mr. Farley tied rope around a light fixture & a noose around his neck.Her singing finally drove him over the edge. He kicked away the chair but the old plaster
  • ceiling couldn't bear his weight when Mr. Farley jumped from the ladder and he crashed through the floor into the apartment below, right into Chrissy and Janet's bedroom where they
  • said, "Hey you aren't Mr. Firley!" And Chris Farley said, "That's right. I'm Mr. Farley and I'm crashing this old sitcom." Jack tripped over the step in the apartment and
  • Butch Patrick scampered down the stairs with dalek-like height-changing precision. Dick Van Dyke took guff from Rosanne Barr for his name, but couldn't tell a Tate from a Campbell.
  • Then I shoved cutlasses into their peeholes for making a career out of torturing me with shitty television, and rewarded my own good deed with
  • Honey Boo Boo and a box of cotton candy flavored Oreos. Yeah, this was living. Still, my one tru desire never returned
  • My 45 of Toni Basil's "Micky". I decided to walk down the 'Really? Wtf is this' grocery aisle , where the HoneyBooHituintheBoo cookies were, I was looking for the JerseyShore gel,
  • when all of a sudden it struck me just how utterly bizarre my life had become. I took a quick trip down the silverware aisle and slit my wrist with a butter knife.

1 Comments

  1. KieferSkunk Sep 14 2012 @ 20:40

    I think after having all that happen, I really would try to off myself with a butter knife. *dizzy*

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