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12 ways to admit you are wrong: 1) slather

  • 12 ways to admit you are wrong: 1) slather your lips with the deepest red lipstick and kiss the mirror writing "I'm sorry" with the mascara 2) fall on the floor moaning in grief
  • 3) send flowers with a pair of your underwear with a note saying "Remember these? I'll do it better next time...promise!" 4) eat humble pie 5) sing Elton John's song "Sorry Seems
  • a little inadequate - can I buy you dinner instead?" (the little known B side from the 2015 Rocket Man reissue) 6) make more frequent use of parentheses () 7) refrain from listing
  • like a capsized boat. 8) never see Bucket List 9) Buy Listerine 10) Enlist in the Salvation Army 11) Become an antirealist 12) make sure pizza has no listeria
  • 13) Wash pizza in listerine before cooking 14) Donate listeria-infested pizza to the Salvation Army 15) Deny everything including God 16) Leave the Salvation Army 17) Research how
  • mad cow faith healer Rev. Irving B. Hackinsmoot built a congregation out of a herd 18) Donate all my clothes including the body thong I'm wearing to the Home for Retired Dictators
  • (note: Marilyn's probably working the front desk so be sure to apply cologne and brush teeth). 19) Finalize escrow paperwork. 20) Confirm receipt of End-of-Life Transition plan
  • 21) Deny receipt of said plan [see 20]. 22) Quit enumerating everything. 24) Don't take my own advice. 25) Find a new shrink. 26) Remember 22. >>> My keyboard ran out of ink.
  • 27) Replace cartridge. Wipe inky fingers on pant legs. 28) See smears. Facepalm! 29) Shriek from sting of ink in eyes. 30) Make mad dash to restroom. Slide head under faucet. Rinse
  • 31) Look up at the mirror. 32) Peer into your ink-smudged face. 33) Question the futility of your lowly existence. 34) Get new printer. 36) Ignorant bliss.
Started
2013-07-11 01:22:22
Finished
2013-11-07 07:35:31

9 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 07 2013 @ 07:36

    The 12 step program became 36.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 07 2013 @ 08:08

    Steps inflation started here: http://foldingstory.com/ym6s9/
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Nov 07 2013 @ 11:36

    23) Say "Huh, turns out I was wrong on that one." 35) Say "You're right, you're right, I can't believe I ever thought you were wrong. I was incorrect. My fault. My bad. Oops." I think I'll do a loop of #29 and #33 today.
  4. Avatar

    hamstak Nov 07 2013 @ 12:13

    Chaz and I are the definitive losers in the Eternal Sequential Enumeration Contest :( My excuse is that I don't acknowledge prime numbers.
  5. Avatar

    Chaz Nov 07 2013 @ 12:21

    Ignore 35! Ignorant bliss! :)
  6. Avatar

    49erFaithful Nov 07 2013 @ 13:00

    Sequential Enumeration is just so ... predictable. Cheers to the unpredictable!
  7. Avatar

    lucielucie Nov 07 2013 @ 16:57

    We love a 36 step program with optional prime numbers in these here parts.
  8. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Nov 14 2013 @ 14:21

    We love lists - plain and simple. Look at the all time top stories if you don't believe me.
  9. Avatar

    lucielucie Nov 27 2013 @ 14:17

    http://www.mediafire.com/listen/vq6qp66rnv7r1nv/12ways short.wav The last half of this story - just me laughing really.

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