Cétait l'homme de l'annee, la medaille lui

Cétait l'homme de l'annee, la medaille lui fut remise en grande pompe. Dans son discour il ne prit le temps de ne remercier personne.

He placed the 'Man of the Year' award on the shelf next to his Oscar, Golden Globe and Nobel Prize. He sighed. What to do now?

He decided to become "Woman of the Year."

He grew a bushy beard for the ceremony and cried when he put on the diamante crown. "It takes a real man to be 'Woman of the Year'. In time a woman may man up & take on the role. B

ut for now 'Woman of the Year' was a svelte, sinewy number from the Burroughs with a finely trimmed goatie and sideburns. But being a man, Harry let himself go during the year and

became a smorgasbord addict. By December he was pushing a quarter-ton and was scheduled for his third bypass job. 'Woman of the Year' was out of the question, but it was still

something to think about. Being Woman of the Year would be great and all, but for now I got to get rid of this smorgasbord addiction. Now what to do about the fire ants...

Expired home warranties and invitations to all-you-can-eat state dinners piled on my desk. Meanwhile, my training with the flame thrower proceeded at a snail's pace. For one,

thing, I was unable to fire the flamethrower for more than 5 seconds without producing a huge cloud of flame and wasting a whole fuel cartridge. Those all-you-can-eat offers were

pointless to me now, but a good idea all the same. Really what I needed was an all-you-can-fire flamethrower. If only the world were that kind...