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I did 2 push ups, she wasn't impressed.

  • I did 2 push ups, she wasn't impressed. So i beat her in a video game. She still wasn't impressed. So then I got online and ordered her roses, but she yawned. So I gave her an

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  • igloo, with real eskimos inside it. Still, she refused to give me the time of day. I tried serenading her, saying romantic lines to her, embracing her; all to no avail. She still

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  • looked askance at my overtures. Isn't that just like a female? How could she be choosy? "We're the last two polar bears on Earth. Don't you want to save the species?" I implored.

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  • She just rolled her polar eyes. "Yeah, that's just what the other bears said." I was honestly shocked. "You mean there's really more of us?! Where?!" She pointed her paw at an ice

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  • castle, right at the edge of the snowy cliff. "Polartopia." She said. "If you're looking to bond with others of your kind, that's the place to be." Trying to contain my excitement,

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  • I failed and fell on the ground screaming "Yay! Wheee!' and shaking from excitement. She said, "No one will bond with you if you are so spastic." But I wanted to go to Polartopia

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  • And see for myself the inuits.

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  • But the Inuits were sick of all the tourists spying on them as if they were in a zoo. So they took to behaving in a disgusting way when they knew they were being watched.

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  • One example is when, knowing they were being watched and possibly recorded, the Inuits gave the Sun an expansive Hello by showing their bodies so that it could count them, as prom

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  • dates. And so the Sun took the Inuits to the prom, and all had a rather jolly time. One lost their virginity (I shan't tell you whom), and the rest danced the whole night away. END

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