Adam Smith was damn well tired of gritting

Adam Smith was damn well tired of gritting his teeth in his funerary monument. "If commerce cannot civilize the people of Earth, then I will!" He shot out of his grave like a

sandwich dropped skywards. First he divided their labour, and their productivity exploded. But not enough. He had to give more. So he divided himself, soul strewn everywhere.

That's what was written on those golden plates." Finished the alcoholic pastor. The timid librarian didn't like what this so-called man of God was suggesting about Mormons.

The Book of Mormons was on the shelf. And it was a musical. Tom Cruise tried to ban it because it satirised his religion. L. Ron Hubbard would have approved this lawsuit. Judge Dre

ad slammed his gavel. "I see it as proven beyond reasonable doubt that Joseph Smith traveled to the future to steal key ideas from L. Ron Hubbard & award the plaintiff

the golden plates. They were translated again & spoke of Aliens who ruled the world with the power of love & soft socks. The only thing that had mattered was your fabric softener.

If you used the fresh linen scented fabric softener the aliens would look the other way, but if you used the springtime meadow scented one they would make you wear brittle socks on

The aliens had read the memo regarding the torture and military interrogations of unlawful human combatants held inside the galaxy - but this was not the Milky Way. All bets were

recognized as legal tender backed by the full faith and confidence of the Illuminati Bank of Weiskoph on the planet Perchance in the Faith Be A Lady Star Cluster just off Broadway.