I grabbed the peppermint gold from my dresser

I grabbed the peppermint gold from my dresser drawer and dashed back down the steps, skipping the last few and flying out the door with as much agility as an acrobat dismounting a

a balance beam. Now what? Peppermint gold is priceless and with all the looting going on, I need to protect it. Should I bury it ? This method worked for pirates. Still today

there are treasure chests buried in untold locations in the Caribbean. But what good would standing on this balance beam do me? I needed to find a parrot and

a first mate. Too bad all these girls cared about was Barbies and cute shoes. None of them were worthy to be my first mate.

Trashy women have always been good for swabbing decks, but a real first mate had to have that

filthy, nasty, quality that Captain Hook needed. He told Trichelle to scram and headed for shore in search of

a decent takeaway. The ship's cook was ill, and he wasn't about to risk e-coli again. It had taken weeks to recover after the episode with the goan fish curry,

and so lived on toast and tinned chicken soup for the rest of the voyage. Picking out the chicken just in case. That did prevent food poisoning but unfortunately

it also meant a huge pile of putrid decaying flesh had accumulated on the poop deck. Once discovered by the captain, he ordered

more ice carvings, hoping to keep the smell down. The command of this cruise ship was not going to be taken away from him. Not again. Not this time.