I felt my knees go weak. Mother... Mother

I felt my knees go weak. Mother... Mother was trying to kill his friend. He didn't want to choose between his family or friends.

I jumped between my friend and the knife wielded by my homicidal mother. She stopped herself from burying the knife in my heart but it was too late. I recognized the blade. Poison

lined the tip of the knife and dripped almost beautifully down the sharp curved blade, like a teardrop down a cheek. It dropped onto my skin. My eyes flicked to my mother, who

"Hey kiddo, you really don't want to do this," Barbie told me, in a surprisingly deep voice. "You KNOW Joe had nothing to do with your dad's death. You know it was

me who offed your dad. Also, Lassie dies at the end of the movie we were watching. AND I'm really a dude." I saw red: "A SPOILER, Barbie?! Are you even human?!" I chased her (him?)

Through the fields of wheat, all the while the he/she shouting: "A UK PRIME MINISTER WILL BE REMEMBERED FOR THESE ONE DAY!!" I nicknamed them Spoilerella in a strop.

Now, Spoilerella the happy hermaphrodite became known far and wide as a sooth sayer. S/he took up residence in a church ruin and gave visitations to tourists. One fateful day, a

freak accident involving a crystal ball & some tea leaves unexpectedly took hermaphrodite Spoilerella’s life. Everyone was shocked as s/he didn't see it coming, hence the proverb:

"Don't mess with the dark arts if you've got boy and girl parts."