"Jingle bells~ Jingle bells~ Jingle all the

"Jingle bells~ Jingle bells~ Jingle all the way~~" "IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS SHUT UP!"

C'mon, it is only 189 shopping days 'til Christmas! I already got your present! Guess what it is? "NO GO AWAY!" Oh you old Scrooge McGrinch, help me with the wreath.

"Call me Scrooge McGinch if you want, but I remember the good ol days when we celebrated halloween and thanksgiving before we started decorating for Christmas! Hang the wreath your

self, you multi holiday celebrating consolidator! I don't sit on Saint Nick's lap with a Jack O Lantern expecting candy with a turkey in the over!" He shook his head, "Your son is

as he picked his nose and wiped it on the seat of his little cargo pants. His parents were always fighting. So he decided to run away and join the Sergio Mendez band. It wasn't

hard to find them. After all, the band was often found walking the streets playing their instruments like a mariachi band, the singer holding a hat out for donations.

They collected one hundred kronor one afternoon. Playing at street festivals was a way of life for them. They had done this for fifty years. Debbie Harry heard them and got onstage

and bared her knickers to muted applause but only from those who remembered what had been lost. A few years ago they had heard of Renaissance Fairs and decided to take the plunge.

Their last days filled with open air latrines, undercooked pig meat and knickerless maidens, apparently.