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Eating an entire pound of pistachios all

  • Eating an entire pound of pistachios all at once was a poor decision. Poorer yet was Bob's decision to eat the shells too, as evidenced by the scratch marks they left on his

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  • new 'Vette's leather interior after he projectile vomited all over the seats. Bob immediately flipped a bitch and headed back to the dealership. He'd be damned if he was going to

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  • drive around in a car that smelled like puke. He had standards goddamnit. He wanted that new car smell, that magnificent aroma, orgasmic to the nostril.

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  • But he didn't want just any new car. He wanted a fresh, white, blessed Pope mobile. he raced to the Vatican to try to try to look for a Vatican Super Honda, but instead he

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  • wasn't allowed through the front gate. He had to settle for a used Yugo driven by a bishop from the Church of England. Maybe he could pimp it up to the level of the Popemobile. So,

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  • he called the Vatican's office at MTV's headquarters and asked to speak to

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  • the Pope's manager, Chuck. The pope's deal with Viacom had really screwed him over and he wasn't going to stand for it. Chuck was a hell of a negotiator and trying to get anything

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  • apart from a resin cross or two was utter folly. Chuck's hard-ass negotiating skills were the best smokesreen. Nobody could find out about NINJA POPE!

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  • After the meeting, Chuck ducked into the nearest confessional and changed into the black vestments and saturno of NINJA POPE! The scourge of carnal sinners! He twirled his Crossier

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  • but confused it with a croissant. Chuck's cover was blown. Captain Janeway shook her head at him disapprovingly, and with one coffee-fueled uppercut, knocked Norris's lights out.

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4 Comments

  1. jaw2ek Mar 18 2012 @ 09:53

    Like Janeway pounding Norris, but i think i need to explore NINJA POPE some more.

  2. SlimWhitman Mar 18 2012 @ 09:56

    I think he'd make a fine addition to the FoldingStory pantheon.

  3. Zetawilk Mar 18 2012 @ 11:35

    Ninja Pope, Ninja Pope, needs a theme song, Ninja Pope o/~

  4. Chaz Mar 18 2012 @ 13:51

    Dedededededede Ninja Pope! Dededededed Ninja Pope! De-Dah! NINJA POPE! (a Desilu production)

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