Finished Folds (1—20)
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4We found ourselves in some sort of assembly room. Spotted elves stood around tired black conveyor belts. The elves moved feverishly, constructing toilets. I turned to my assistant
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1that could turn beavers into frankincense. He had a flashback of the time he brought his iPad to an Amish village. They liked the knobs, but chased him out after they found the
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5He was sick of this town, sick of this trip, sick of feeling busted. His car was busted, his life was busted. All he wanted now was go to a bar and make his liver feel busted.
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3People were looking. But I couldn't help myself. I grabbed the mannequin by its sultry hips and began dressing it. First in an Armani suit. Then an Abercrombie sun dress. "What are
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3she makes it work. I guess it's a good thing I work at a strip club. She's actually one of the more conservative dressers there" The silence grew after that. I turned and walked
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6smell where I was and what I was doing. His robo arm was heavy so he ran like a gorilla tripod. Thud. Thud. Thud. One day I was playing doctor with a young thing when I heard it.
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4Whenever anyone mentions the movie, my skin turns green with envy that a no-talent like Macaulay Culkin gets to be in a movie and I don't. Or was it someone else? either way.
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1So I just grabbed my cheeks and stretched them my whole arm's length. It hurt like hell, but gave me a pretty decent wing span. I began to glide gracelessly towards
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2a large puddle of sheep bile in the yard. But enough about me" he said, "How are the kids? Still stealing maracas from polish children?" I put the phone receiver down to check.
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2deep friend manure, hoping the "nutty" flavor would overpower the calamari. My next act of subterfuge was taking another booth's tentacles and replacing them with chicken legs.
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2Mr. Crockett took a long drag from his pipe, unfazed by the news, and muttered "Do ya even like Hershey choc'l'te, Yankee? I swear if you dun, I'll make yer coat red with..."
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4That's why whenever I go to the supermarket, I like to buy two metric tons of cottage cheese. I find that filling my toys with it helps them rise to the top. I only accept winners.
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6resonance, or the CAR method of assessing the health of a Siberian musk rat. Weinerslav would then entertain his new friends with stories of Bartholomew, the consonant cow who
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6handstands on his bike on his way to his desk job at the mayonnaise administration and maintenance bureau (MAMB). Johnny always felt free doing hand stands. But one day
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6noise. She was also a big fan of Schoenberg, and tried to bring his atonal styling to her wardrobe. She called it the "twelve materials system". It meant that when she got dressed
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2the love of god, don't tea-bag him. I know it's fun but you're a giant knife and people are going to know it was you if he has a Glasgow smile." The Dirk was disappointed.
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12the broadway revival of My Fair Lady, a re-imagining where society is filled with illiterate hunchbacks who try to bring Eliza Doolittle down to their level. He quickly auditioned.
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2Everyone knew south Baltimore was the heartland of comedy. The high schools taught comedy to freshmen. The ducks turned themselves into duck soup. And he was saying "knock knock".
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4quickly digested and transformed them into a clan of warrior racoons who believed his home the giver of life. For generations they would protect his home, but for now he was cold.
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8But he didn't want just any new car. He wanted a fresh, white, blessed Pope mobile. he raced to the Vatican to try to try to look for a Vatican Super Honda, but instead he