It was brilliant, yes, but so simple too.

It was brilliant, yes, but so simple too. So obvious. This brilliant, simple, obvious concept had changed everything overnight. The idea was

too simple for words, and so obvious that people who had the idea didn't think anything needed to be said. Just as well, as it was a blatantly preverbal idea, even preconceptual --

or penultimately premature, if you will. At this juncture I beleive I would like a one of your freckled breasts." Thought the baby. But when it opened its mouth, it just cried.

And then it got a freckled breast! This fueled the babies delusions of grandeur. Once it had wet its nappies & thought, "Give me a sponge bath you comely wench." The wet nurse

was unfazed and smacked the child for giving her the "eyes". For this she lost her job, but she was satisfied that she had had her revenge. When she met the boy again, 19 years on

it was love at second sight. He was blind now, but charming, a metrosexual who routinely shaved his chest -- a "gleet", in the vernacular. She convinced him she was only 30 by

showing him her luciously fake calf muscles. No woman above 60 could have such stunning legs, unless they were fake.

& then it clicked: except for one woman & she was exceptional. "Hello there, long time no see" she whispered in my ear seductively. She may be old, I thought, but those calf muscle

s sent an electrical shock across my sphincter and into my vas deferens. I was hotter than a stock car's engine block at the end of a 250 mile race. I sunk my teeth into one of

her breasts and it exploded, knocking out my front teeth and my contact lenses. That cooled me off drastically. After I recovered, I decided to become a woman and join a convent.