Dog walker Katrina Klaus was found not guilty

Dog walker Katrina Klaus was found not guilty today of violating the local poop-scooping ordinance despite photographic evidence against her that purportedly depicted a huge

conspiracy to evade the scooping laws. Katrina was wearing the patch on her jacket: WDCUP, we don't clean up poop, but the Judge decided that Katrina's furry pet was so

cute that the Judge ordered a recess. "Katrina, your furry pet is so dang cute!" The judge banged the gavel. Katrina didn't have the heart to the judge

that her Kitty was a taxidermically prepared puppet she'd shoved her hand into. When the Judge petted it she projected a "miaow" & had the Kitty say "I know who killed Aunt Myrtle.

'Was it not Yertle the Turtle,' guessed the Judge, 'who done in Miss Myrtle?' 'Ssquaaawwk! When do we sail?! Squawk!' was the clever critter's reply. 'Sounds like a yes to me!'

Yertle the Turtle's barrister leapt up. "I object, m'lud!" he cried throwing his wig at the parrot. "My client loved Miss Myrtle inappropriately! Turtles don't kill their inamorata

during intercourse, nor their inanimorata, either." But Yertle's lawyer was retorted by the parrot: "We found semen stains & bloody hair clumps in Miss Myrtle's stomach. Turtlecide

Was what Yertle was found guilty of by Judge Ajgeryyu. He was sentenced to living in the basement of the house at 2206 Rapshot Rd. He lived there until his death in 2916 at age 102

only to be resurrected as a zombie by young devil worshippers. Was this his destiny? To become an undead pet of humans as terrible as he?

He would never see his fate coming, though, for the sheer wall of horror his mind created overwhelmed any humanity he clung to. Soon, all he saw was black, his body for the taking.