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The called him "Johnny Numbers" but the joke

  • The called him "Johnny Numbers" but the joke had stopped being funny long before it was ever told. His gigantic tube socks and jean shorts made sure of that.

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  • The other irony of "Johnny Numbers" was he can't do math. I just see at my bro-in-law across the table, watch him eat 3 plates to everyone else's 1. "Leftovers" wasn't in his vocab

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  • ulary. My brother-in-law belched, then turned to the chubby woman to his left to see if she'd left any dessert for him. A crumb of the tiramisu clung to her chin and that was all

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  • he needed to know before he began messily kissing and licking and slobbering all over that fat cow of a woman. He didn't even know her and yet from that point onwards, they became

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  • friends with benefits. He didn't mention her large volume and she didn't mention his continuos farting. But there came a moment when it became a matter of self-estheme and after

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  • six months their affair was over. Each decided to alter their life: she joined a weight loss boot camp, and he began eating anti-beans. A year later, they met by accident in a

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  • Healthy eating seminar sponsored by Dr. Fjhtdchjhyski. The anti-beans were hard to digest at first, then his body got used to them. She lost 260 lbs.

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  • When he dropped 130 pounds and then took the remaining 130 pounds to live alone on a deserted tropical island certified free of remnant's of The Imperial Japanese Navy and Army.

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  • He had thought he would appreciate the solitude, but instead he found himself to be 130 pounds of lust. He began swimming for the mainland, images of sweaty nymphs clouding his

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  • judgement. He saw their beautiful nude bodies & chased after them into the land of eternal marshmallows. Where he was coated in the sticky goo & eaten alive. Take that as you will.

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