Many years ago, a man had a dream. This dream

Many years ago, a man had a dream. This dream was ruined by a woman he met. Her existence in his life would've belonged in a love story, if it weren't for what she did to him...

She posted his failings all around the planet of his residence, photos included. She was a demon that Stalin would have feared. She was proud, but she was false, and her campaign f

orgot that two can play that game. I called the sleeziest ad campaign team from across the galaxy. For $3 they went to work digging up dirt on her. They found that 13 years ago

was a measly eating-off-the-floor offense. Pathetic. If I was going to win the body building contest, I had to find something more pungent and damning. I frowned at Magnum P.I., si

-lently hoping that the judges would disqualify him for having perfect genes and not having to work as hard at body building as I do. "Magnum," I sneered, "you wouldn't know a

cultural anthropologists if he bit you. So don't pretend that you've mastered Margaret Mead's magnum opus if you can't even say the name." Magnum looked like he wanted to repay me

for the knuckle sandwich I loaned him at Christmas dinner, but I'd just had a heavy lunch which might repeat itself all over his beloved suit. His mother had died in that suit.

I did by best to take the punch in the gut and hold my lunch in, but the violence reverberated causing an explosion on the other end. The smell escaping the pants my mom gave me.

My cushioned jorteggings gave way to the deadly outburst of gas, tearing appart my holy jeggings. at this point i kn i had to die to save the jorteggings.and it fades to black