There are two toilets in my house. One is
- There are two toilets in my house. One is for us; one is for guests. I think this is tremendously unfair because we don't even get that many guests but they get to use the clean
- pristine toilet to make their guest contribution to our effluent. The tiles gleam & they even have a bath with no ring. Once when my wlfe was sleeping, I snuck in the guest bathro
- om & used the toilet. My wife called a meeting with me & the boys. "I'm naming no names," she said, looking at me, "but until accuracy in aiming improves, the guest toilet is verbo
- ten." We all groaned. "What if we sit down to pee?" said Pete. Mom said, "Nein, I know you boys aren't sitzpinklers." "What's with the German? Have you become a guest toilet Nazi?"
- Frowning, Mom ripped the tissue roll from Pete's grasp and declared, "No poo for you!" Pete contemplated brandishing his royal plunger in defiance, but canned the idea.
- He knew his duty. Nobody could say he didn't. If there were 3 piles of duty before him he knew which was his and which two other duties wished they were. "But Mom, I have to do #2!
- " It was easier to explain than when he had to do a #3 and his Mom understood - perhaps more than he would have wanted. She promised to let him to do his business in peace but
- she kept shouting advice through the bathroom door. "Make sure you've got a firm on the toilet seat. Is there enough toilet paper? You'll need at least three rolls" "Mom!" he said,
- "I am fine." But he was regurgitating the backwards English he learned in school and used when folding stories. The Maltese Falcon who tutored him with quirky pronunciation of such
- words as "I", "am" and "fine" stared at him, stony-faced. "I thought I taught you better than that," said the Maltese Falcon. "I never understood what you're saying," he replied.
- Started
- 2014-11-09 00:07:25
- Finished
- 2017-07-14 10:00:02
3 Comments
Want to leave a comment?
Sign up!
lucielucie Jul 16 2017 @ 07:07
I love sitzpinkler!
Gibber Jul 20 2017 @ 15:02
"Sitzpinkler" should be considered a term of respect, like "gentleman."
LordVacuity Jul 20 2017 @ 20:34
"Two quilted plies with a diagonal fold in the front, the roll rolling towards the user." "What are you reading there? That sounds like my Notes for a Proper Guest Bathroom." "They are you notes and I have them now. You're done Guest Bathroom Nazi! NO POO FOR YOU!"