I knew this inevitable day would come. Poppy,

I knew this inevitable day would come. Poppy, the ventriquist, hopped onto the stage

with a hatchet. The hatchet turned to him and began the act by asking Poppy which person looked most in need of killing. The ventriloquism was amazing, but few stayed to appreciate

the heavyset dancers, which was too bad since they were quite good - although they smelled of quiche and freshly harvested turnips for some reason. Poppy just kept giggling at the

pit bull and shouting, "That's a good dog. Oh yes he is. He's a good boy. Oh yes he is." They busted the centipede in their half shirts and all the dog could do was

Wag its tail and pretend like these petty humans weren't inferior. It took all of his will not rip out their jugulars and roll in the war juice that would soon pour out! He laughed

just as a kid came in and pulled on the dog's tail causing it to loose it's cool and

turned to the brat. "I say, unhand my bottom region or feel the wrath of savage canines." The boy let go and froze. He felt the dog tone was a bit hyperbolical. He threw a stick.

The dog just sat. "Fetch!" the boy insisted. The dog leaped forward and mauled the boy, shouting "I APOLOGIZE I THOUGHT I HAD HEARD 'SIC ME' SO THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING." The boy

collapsed under the weight of his dog, with mere seconds to live. Calmly he replied to his dog, "No, I clearly said, 'Fetch.'" As the dog paused to consider, the boy capitalized by

becoming immortal. "Now that dog can't say shit".