45

"So, tell me about yourself," said my new

  • "So, tell me about yourself," said my new psychiatrist. I just sat there & looked at him into uncomfortable silence. Then I reached into my bag & pulled out my Howdy Doody puppet.
  • Dr Mallard, my shrink, said, "I asked you a question. Now's no time for show-and-tell." But I remained silent. Howdy Dowdy snorted & said, "No comments from the peanut gallery!"
  • I watched as several dejected peanut salesmen got up and left the stands. It was really a shame - I had been looking forward to having some peanuts when my psychiatric evaluation
  • came around so that I could stuff them into my nose while slithering an arm about like a trunk. The downside was that the presiding shrink would get to name the "disorder" after
  • himself. Presiding shrinks are always doing that. I beseeched the assembled psychiatrists to let me name my disorder myself with hand signs using my prehensile nose. "Let's call it
  • Monkey business!" A baboon family entered the room and ate all the pizza. Their favourite was deep dish from Malnati's. The babies gurgled with delight at the thought of having
  • two new brothers and a new sister. They didn't care that they were conjoined triplets, they loved them just the same. They had been recruited by the Ministry of Silly Walks early.
  • In no time at all, the triplets became the board members of the ministry. The triplets sat down to start the 100th meeting. "Now then, what was it again?" they spoke in unison.
  • The other board members watched the triplets with equal measure of fear and awe. The triplets tapped their fingers on the table, a complex, inter-woven rhythm. "Well?" all three sa
  • -ng in three-part harmony. But before the board could answer, the chairman had jumped through the window. He had only fallen two stories, but they were folded stories. It hurt.
Started
2013-07-03 19:43:59
Finished
2018-07-24 14:43:47

10 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf Jul 24 2018 @ 15:03

    I stopped for a breath then. Dr. Mallard stared at me thoughtfully and scribbled a few more notes. "Here", he said, handing Howdy Doody the prescription. "This should help. Take two a day and no more."
  2. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jul 24 2018 @ 16:17

    FoldingStory renders fivefold increase.
  3. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jul 24 2018 @ 16:19

    that means take 10 for 5 days and nevermore.
  4. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jul 24 2018 @ 16:20

    doh! I should have said undefined.
  5. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Jul 24 2018 @ 17:44

    @PP: What did Dr. Mallard prescribe Howdy Doody?
  6. Avatar

    PurpleProf Jul 24 2018 @ 23:06

    Pirin tablets.
  7. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jul 25 2018 @ 00:36

    Is that prim?
  8. Avatar

    LordVacuity Jul 25 2018 @ 00:36

    Is that proper?
  9. Avatar

    PurpleProf Jul 25 2018 @ 09:41

    Pirin Tablets: a reference to a clip from one of my favorite movies, The Birdcage, with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane. Watch this scene and you will understand what pirin tablets are! :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db5ukd6020Y
  10. Avatar

    Woab Jul 26 2018 @ 12:24

    I love that movie, and this story made me titter like a demented puppet.

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