one day i had a water fight with some kids.....no

one day i had a water fight with some kids.....no one is a match for my kettle

i rn off without thinking the feds chased after me but by then i was in a feild hiding in the long itchy grass my haert was racing i couldn't feel my legs.

Which was natural because I didn't have any legs. I was a "human torso" that was trying to roll away from the circus. I was sure that I could get on Oprah with my

mad ass-clenching jump-roping skills during Oprah's annual Double Dutch Community Outreach show. I could get a good 12" of air with cheek power alone and could lay down sick rhymes

. I tell you my flag boy could set your flag boy on fire. Later, pay-per-view, picked up my talents for the Octagon Cage Match Ultimate Double Dutch Jump Rope Smack-Down. My style

involved mostly X-to-Straddle maneuvers, followed by choking my opponent with the rope. I called it "X-to-Strangle." Pun-loving UFC fans adored me. But then I took it too far.

I had invented a new move which I displayed on the next UFC event. I had planned on calling it: 'great balls on fire'. But the audience was outraged and stormed the ring to lynch

the official referee & all of his assistants. The crowd, believing all this to be part of the show, rose to their collective feet & applauded appreciatively. The ref suffered only

major testicular damage beyond all reconstructive medical technology and a few bruised eyes to his spider-like face. Still, at least his bowel problems were mysteriously fixed.