Ever since my mom sat me down and told me
- Ever since my mom sat me down and told me that my father was an anonymous sperm donor I have been trying to find the other half of me that's always been a mystery. All I had was
- a birth certificate that mentioned the name of the sperm bank - as the father. The sperm bank was in another state but I decided to travel from the west coast to the east just to
- find out whether my father was someone famous like Einstein. The Spermbank teller explained the donor wished to remain anonymous. I decided a little Spermbank heist was needed
- so I jammed every jug of love juice into my jorts. But I figured the Spermbank tellers would notice if all their merch went missing, so I whipped out some empty jugs as well as my
- personal emergency supply that I kept in various sized Bota bags in the back of my Jeep. Deposits had been slow lately and the supply was rather old so when I began squeezing the
- 'lemons' only a few drops with a foul stench came out. I had to find myself a new supplier, I heard a new product was beginning to emerge which could withstand any
- Fukushima meltdown. This new product was impervious to man's evil chaos. It was made by Hasbro and could be returned for a full refund. Amazing.
- It was a doll, representing a girl and it could walk, talk, sleep and pee. And if you'd talk to it, it would curl it's lips into a smile. The weird thing about the smile was that
- it was exactly like the Mona Lisa's smile - enigmatic. But the doll's pee - much less than enigmatic! It smelled of
- plutonium! I cursed my foolishness; why did I buy a doll from a factory downwind from the nuclear power plant? I guess the moral of the story is, never buy anything for sixpence.
- Started
- 2011-07-24 23:44:12
- Finished
- 2011-12-19 18:27:57
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SlimWhitman Apr 19 2012 @ 12:29
What does plutonium smell like? pluto?