Last thing I remember was that I was just

Last thing I remember was that I was just sitting there at a red light, minding my own beeswax. In retrospect, I guess I should have noticed something was wrong when Skittles

the pony sauntered up alongside me and let my tyres down with his specially sharpened hooves. But I didn't think anything of it. "So, a pissed-off pony", I muttered to myself, "wha

t next?" No sooner had he spoken than the pony was enveloped in a green mist that swirled up around them both. The peeved pony and boy were intertwined inextricably, becoming

a Centaur, with the head, arms, and torso of a human and the body and legs of a horse. With new purpose the Centaur set out to fight with the Lapiths.

He gathered all the male Centaurs in the region and began training. They consistently worked each station on the jungle jim. Their upper bodies were huge! The Lapiths would be

broad boded and large chinned, balanced on a Shetland Pony extremity. Too bad they're all dead, kids! A long time ago! The next exhibit, kids, is

Purple slime that is served at school for lunch, disguised as something else. Its cousin is green slime. You are supposed to shut up and eat it. But you also must know what is in

a bowl of peaches, for your eyes can deceive you. School lunches lack nutrition, but provide riveting talking points, which leads me on to inform you of the recent changes to the

curriculum. First, most of our spring classes will involve fruit, so you can just forget German and Trigonometry. Introduction to Bing Cherries will be mandatory, and orchard work

be prerequisite. Then there will be fruit salad making as final course work. All the sane people will be forced to study nuts'til they are nuts. Then in the insanity we will happy!