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"Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks

  • "Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest!" Mr. Fox & his running
  • mate, Mr. Shrew, funded their campaign with cash from land developer ants. Soon everyone would live in anthill-ian pyramids emblazoned with Mr. Fox's fluffy visage. "FoxShrew2016!"
  • But Mr. Shrew was using dark money to fund Mr. Fox's campaign. The ants donated the cash on paper but the money really came from illicit proceeds from the millipedes.
  • The millipedes controlled the global production of fungus produced in huge termite factory farms and corrupt cockroaches laundered the mushrooms. Mr Fox's dodgy campaign began with
  • his advocating for a return of the stocks as punishment for certain crimes. One such crime was infringing the copyrights, trademarks, and patents of Millipede Fungus, Ltd. Shadows
  • were whispered to haunt your dreams and thoughts if you threatened Millipede Fungus, Ltd.'s "intellectual" "properties", but nobody told them, "Never get involved in a land war in
  • a thousand shoes." This frustrated Millicent Millipede to no end, since she had taken such care in choosing all her footwear over the years. "Am I to go barefoot then?" she asked
  • the Spider Queen. The Queen nodded. "Aye, Miss Millicent Millipede. Until Fate bestows upon you the Blessing of a Thousand Shoes, you must endure my webs with your toes exposed to
  • all the blights the Dark One chooses to visit upon you." Millicent struggled to no avail, searching her memory for the Melody of Rescue she had learned long ago. How had it gone?
  • But as she closed her eyes and focused,the Melody of Rescue came back to her,she sang it with all her heart.The Dark One screamed and vanished,Millicent knew she had saved the day.

2 Comments

  1. KieferSkunk May 20 2023 @ 18:15

    Surprisingly coherent!

  2. LordVacuity May 20 2023 @ 19:53

    But she’s still stuck in a web and shoeless. I guess we got to tune in next week to see what happens.

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