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Due to Newton's Law of Gravity, from where

  • Due to Newton's Law of Gravity, from where you are sitting, the weight of the world is not on your shoulders but on your butt.

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  • But it's all very relative. You could decide to stand up and it would be on your feet, do a head stand and you can shout you carry the world on your head.

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  • The world is so heavy and yet I continue to bear its weight,

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  • which is why I look so iron-bound. Tony Stark has nothing on me, minus the suit. It's not easy bearing the weight of the world, let me tell you, but I swear I'm not on steroids.

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  • Said Arnold to the Kennedy's. It was a family reunion / yacht race / deposition party. The Kennedy's were real sick of the Austrian's routine. To liven things up they took

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  • Turns driving the old Jaguar and seeing how fast it ran out of petrol. Joe Kennedy warned his kids not to do that,as the car from 1991 had 200,000 miles already on its odometer.

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  • But they were clever and drove Joe's old Jag exactly as many miles backwards as forwards so he never noticed their joy riding, until the day of the Kennedy's family reunion when

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  • all four tires went mysteriously flat from all the wear from the joy rides. Joe was furious and blamed the cheapness of the tires. He went to Harvey Firestone and complained.

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  • Harvey said he wasn't a tire Firestone. He was from Nova Scotia. Fundy, actually. He offered a coupon for 20% off on his next shrubbery purchase. He stuck it absentmindedly into a

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  • lady's purse that was walking by, unbeknownst to her. He watched as she walked out of the store and the coupon was finally out of his life. He smiled & walked away happy for once.

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1 Comments

  1. Woab Feb 28 2017 @ 15:57

    That tears it, I'm following mporkwing.

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