Rain again. It seems like every time we get

Rain again. It seems like every time we get ready to really start summer, the rain comes in and wrecks it. I've been waiting two weeks, ever since school ended, to just

Make America Great Again. The summer holidays were a useful time to begin my personal Presidential Campaign, but because of the pouring rain, I could do nothing.

There were famous places to visit, such as Hamburger Heaven, which should have been named Hamburger Hell because of the dreadful customer service and equally dreadful food quality.

First, I was denied a table since I hadn't reserved. They relented only when I pointed out the burger joint was after all empty. My table featured dribblings from the last diner,

which I treated as an amuse bouche licking it from the table:grease with a hint of bbq sauce & did I detect some windex? The diner chef clearly dabbled in molecular cusine

and I wasn't sure whether to feel uneasy or flattered that I was taken to such a high-brow restaurant. My phone started to ring and I blinked at the others, trying to decide

if I should answer it. What if it was my father? He had been trying to reach me for days now. How much longer could I keep ignoring him? I would've liked to ignore him forever, and

I would have, except that I was flat broke and I needed to move back home. Yeah, at age 42. So I answered: "Hello? DAD! Wow, it's been too long! What? You're...WHAT?!!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know you. I don't have a son, no." He cut the line. I was destitute. I started walking down down the street filled with homeless bums. I would soon be one of

the bald ones. It was hard enough being homeless, but try being homeless without hair. I let out an audible whimper, exasperated by my inevitably disappointing future.