To my left on the bus seat was a man I am

To my left on the bus seat was a man I am sure will kill me. I don't know why, and I don't know when, but it'd be hard to avoid. I look at him, hard. I wonder if he has kids.

Bertram Lumberbritches stared back at his fellow bus passenger. What's his problem? Just because I look like a murderer doesn't mean I am one. The other guy's nervous hostility sta

Lin. When you're Russian for food, there is no time for Stalin. KGB.

It was Putin's favorite cereal. He poured in milk & scoured the floating letters for secret messages. A string of letters in the center caught his attention 'FRTWNGL'? What did it

mean? It came to him like thunder. "I shall invade Ukraine," he said. He finished his breakfast bibliomancy with an iron spoon and rode a bear bare-chested through the taiga.

The reindeer and wolves stepped aside, and the lynxes scuttled under the Russian brush as he passed. He flexed his stomach muscles at them, even though the bear he rode on was more

The hairs on my chest were still black. Mr. Ursidae and his family had me over for dinner, when the hairs grew out of my shirt and grew leaves. Then birds wanted to nest there.

At first I wasn't keen on having birds use my chest hairs as a nesting spot, but eventually I warmed up to the idea.

Having birds nesting in my chest hair did have a negative impact on my dating life though. The type of birds that nested in my chest hair were territorial. They went for the eyes.