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Their potato proved that there was no such

  • Their potato proved that there was no such thing as alien life on other planets. The philosopher and the President explained all the complicated details as to why, beginning at
  • Sunday Morning Talk. "Today's topic: 'Are we alone?' My guests are: Lyndon B Johnson, Nietzsche, and an Idaho Russet. Good morning gentlemen and tuber."
  • "Mr. Potatohead. As a spud, did you look up at the night sky and ask 'Are we alone'"? "No Garrison, I thought the moon was a giant potato". "Err... LBJ, you started the space race.
  • What do you think of this?" "Well,"LBJ replied, "The spud here is onto something. We've never publicly acknowledged it before now, but the moon *is* a giant potato." The audience
  • wondered if it was the cheesy kind. "Could we fire the moon from a big potato cannon? I have a few targets in mind besides my ex's house," they all thought at once. LBJ quieted
  • down once the ludes took effect. They were the real ludes. The ones created by that Polish doctor that had the strawberry aftertaste. LBJ's hang dog cheeks drooped further down.
  • "So I won't be able to turn back into a human after all?" He barked at the doctor. "No; you will become a dog forever." I woofed in agony as floppy ears sprouted from my head.
  • Curly hair erupted all over my body. I shrunk down. "A teacup poodle?!" I yapped. This was insult added to injury. If I had to be a dog, I wanted to be a big bad one. The doctor
  • wouldn't change his mind, so I bit his nose off and trotted right out the door. Thus began my existance as the meanest teacup poodle who ever lived. They called me
  • night and day, wanting to interview me by phone. They were too scared to interview in person. And well they should be. They are all on my kill list. All of them must die.
Started
2012-08-05 00:02:35
Finished
2014-02-02 22:19:34

3 Comments

  1. Avatar

    lucielucie Feb 03 2014 @ 11:10

    Nietzsche didn't have much to say for himself.
  2. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Feb 03 2014 @ 14:49

    Folding Story Law 5.58: When given a choice of 3 characters to continue in the next fold, always ignore the philosopher. What does he know?
  3. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Feb 03 2014 @ 17:15

    Apologies! That should read "her or he know?" As penance I'll start a story whose heroine is a philosopher.

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