The photograph showed an anaconda wrapped
- The photograph showed an anaconda wrapped around a baby. When the mother returned, she saw a white space in the picture where the snake was. By the crib she
- spied her baby's beanie. "Where is my Jasper?" She looked frantically for clues. In the center of the room she saw the shed skin of her husband's pet anaconda. Snakenapped!
- If baby Jasper were snakenapped that could only mean one thing. She ran to the telephone and called up the only person who could help her in a time like this...
- Charlie Sheen. He would know what to do, he had helped her on other occasions, like that time at the Bingo Hall. "Winning!" He cried, and they, in fact won.
- She became Sheen's connection to the world of underground bingo halls. Because of her hair rinse, she was known as "Charlie's Blue Angel." She provided him with a dauber and cards.
- But had forgotten to tell him the password to get in the first underground bingo hall. Charlie Sheen was ironically left out of the only club he'd ever wanted to be a part of.
- So he did what only he, Tom Cruise and people who think Chuck Norris is any good would do: He went fucking elephant-shit insane and started chewing the door down like an asshole.
- And she responded! After all that time of pursuing her and acting like a smart, caring, strong man, it was when he completely lost it... went insane!... That she fell for him! Wh
- y hadn't he listened to George Costanza long ago & just "do the opposite" a long time ago? Now here he was living life with the woman he'd always dreamed of. Life was fine...until
- a giant meteor crashed down on my house and destroyed everything within several miles. And guess what? GEICO *didn't* help me save 15% or more on my car insurance. Those jerks.
- Started
- 2011-02-26 22:04:56
- Finished
- 2013-07-12 01:06:32
1 Comments
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KieferSkunk Jul 12 2013 @ 01:09
In retrospect, Baby Jasper would have been killed in the meteor collision anyway, so I guess it's a good thing his mother completely forgot about him when she called Charlie Sheen to go check out the underground bingo halls.