So I sat down and watched old Burn Notice
- So I sat down and watched old Burn Notice reruns. Jack Bauer was no Michael Weston. Michael Weston was like Jack Bauer on steroids. As I munched on a bag of Skittles (taste the rai
- n down in Africa) I hit upon an idea: single-elimination TV badass tournament of champions! In the West bracket we'd have: Mr T, Cordell Walker, Angus MacGyver & Thomas Magnum. In
- East Bracket we'd have Peter Brady, Mr. Firley, the fat dad on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. It would be a battle to the death. Mr. T, Cordell Walker, Angus MacGyver would get a
- thick kickback if they agree to be surgically fused. We've got all the celebrity deathmatch angles covered, I tells ya. Ran every combination through a BIG computer. We estimate
- our company is going to gain an extra $50,000 in just one week. How exciting! Celebrity Deathmatch is going to be back on air and bigger than EVER now! New celebrities will be
- signed up. Starting with the Trump White House evacuees. The deathmatch between the NDAs & the book offers will decimate the lists but such is modern politics & strange bedfellows.
- Throw in a pandemic, put it all in the blender, set on "agitate" for nine seconds and you've got something that resembles my brain about now. For a real treat, you can add
- a freeze-dried cube of pure caffeine, a jigger of 190 proof rum, a gram of Purple Haze, and a tab of acid. You’ll believe you can grab hold of COVID’s hideous heart and flatten it.
- Nose running a half-a-mile an hour, you stumble over to your concoction, this last chance to cure your disease, you chug the lot, rum, acid and all in one big gulp.
- It took about 3hrs for the dancing pixies to turn into leering, malicious alienesque pirates. I tried to escape on the minute hand of the clock but soon caught up to their hour.
- Started
- 2013-08-26 12:10:14
- Finished
- 2020-04-25 08:36:41
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Jimbeau Apr 25 2020 @ 12:55
Great visuals encapsulated in that fabulous ending, StigMartyr.