Putting down the paper he went out to the

Putting down the paper he went out to the garage. His victim was still tied to the chair, but awake. "You know what is going to happen next?" a scared "No" was uttered, but he knew

.." "That's a scary story mum! Tell me another one." "Ok there were 3 billy goats gruff.." Not that one either! Tell me the one about the Penguins!" "Ok, well, once upon a time

there was a goofy bowtie and Fedora wearing penguin named Tennessee who lived at the Megapolis Zoo with his walrus friend named Chumley. All they did was attempt to escape

with all the vending machines in the park. It really wasn't a big deal. That was because it was only a test run to see how heavy the machines were. Now it's time for the real deal:

Vending Machine 17! "Are you sure I'm ready? I'm fresh out of the shop." VM17 asked nervously to her pimp. "Why of course! In fact, you will be out for years to come, and I'll be

making change for anyone who might be interested." Vending Machine 17 blushed at the thought of her pimp's eagerness to get her out on the streets, the heat melting her Clark bars.

The drip drip drip of the chocolate distracted her from the coin as it entered her slot. Violated? Validated? She almost didn’t release the Coconut Long Boys when he hit L7.

But then she remembered something her great grandmother "Candy Dispenser Ver. 291" had told her one cold Thanksgiving morning. "When the money comes, give them their sweets."

That is the only time she ever broached the subject. She didn't usually impart her wisdom to any of us, least of all to me. She was discontinued when her bearings wore out. I took

her to a bike shop, but I felt like the last hominid walking into a plasma screensaver. Maybe I could have looked for a machinist or even 3D-printed replacement bearings. Oh well.