If I could save time in a bottle, the first

If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is

find a BPA free bottle that had a "sports cap." With time securely stuffed into the bottle, I could really do the things that I'd really like to do like

eat some cheesy bagels, throw a scrunched-up piece of paper into a waste-paper basket, hit on a lamppost, hail a cab in the middle of the Siberian tundra and even change my socks.

My to-do list was getting longer by the minute. Luckily I had had the foresight to invest in a digital calendar that took care of the sock-changing and cab-hailing functions. I had

later realized too late that my digital calendar was actually a cleverly-disguised robot butler. Soon, many of my socks ended up on the tailpipes of cabs across the city.

And to make matters worse, it turned out that my robot butler's true identity was the love child of Ultron and GLaDOS. What a twist!

Love in the age of robots was the subject of an article in a magazine I spotted at the railway station. The Spanish Inquisition would have been child's play compared to the rituals

VX Junkies would have been lost knowing how robot love even happened and how much lubricant it entailed; even when it was completely digital. They were rituals not programs that dr

-ove their robotic passion. The robots had learned how to live by watching the humans. They did not feel it so much as they practiced it, hoping to somehow become more like the

m. The last robot walked down the empty sidewalk street, now saddened. If the humans were gone, how was he to learn? Quietly, but calmly, he switched himself-ZZRK.....