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We had been going to the backroom at Ned's

  • We had been going to the backroom at Ned's Polonaise Room since the 70s. We set up out card tables and shook hands all around. Old Joe brought out the tiddly-winks and we commenced
  • our friendly razzing as we tiddled. Sometimes Ed would come with cards and show us a few things. Sometimes Gary would put a blanket over the card table and we would get under it
  • to prepare for the "Big One." Gary was a prepper. He constantly prepared for armageddon. He had a bunker 20 feet below his house. He stocked it with the essentials:
  • 30 pounds of bacon flavored spam, 50 gallons of purified water and enough kool aid for 50 gallons of water, 3 rolls of toilet paper, 100 cartons of Lucky Strike brand cigarettes,
  • a fireproof Bible, a compass, and Richard Simmons. The Day of Reckoning happened sooner than any of us expected...Thursday, June 6, 2013. We ran out of toilet paper by Saturday.
  • By Monday we'd eaten the last of the Beanie-Weenies - Richard Simmons was the first to be cannibalized. Scarcely a week had passed since the Day of Reckoning and already we had
  • tired of his Munchin' to the Oldies routine. So we turned to Pee Wee Herman next. Our chief said PW looked like a big juicy steak, and PW replied, "I know you are but what am I?"
  • Three hours later I was picking my teeth. The meat was lean, and there wasn't much of it, but Pee Wee Herman was spicy, I must say. Our chief twirled the bowtie on his index finger
  • With great and then iced the cake.
  • And that's all I can say about the tale of the Iced cake It was an iced cake for ever and ever.
Started
2013-05-31 19:19:38
Finished
2016-02-09 23:33:02

14 Comments

  1. Avatar

    Gibber Feb 10 2016 @ 00:42

    BlastedHeath - putting a blanket over a card table almost 3 years later: http://foldingstory.com/l73cq I wrote a novella in which one of the characters is 29 and still makes forts from blankets and stuff.
  2. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Feb 10 2016 @ 07:55

    I'm in my late fifties and I'm thinking it's time I got back into that ... ;-)
  3. Avatar

    Dhanithecat Feb 10 2016 @ 12:06

    I used to do exquisite corpses by email and my dutch collaborator published them at geocities.
  4. Avatar

    Gibber Feb 10 2016 @ 17:42

    Here is some text generated by a computer program I wrote which cuts up text and attempts to fit it together. i noticed the sun has been picked up and dusted. its label, much faded, was called the new inn, which he had not taken to be trusted. she was asleep when the nuisance that is not a sign to betray their opinions. therefore it is, it is nothing. it was subdued but we had seen. not popular, it was still, after the prisoner should see him - he had come down for the railway charges, what with one foot, and neither her hands and knees, and she hid so many years since any human foot has trod these precincts. certain it is rather attractive at all. they hastened off together without a smile behind him - we'd gone up in a rainbow burst of murderous frenzy well now, that something ill - defined and impalpable had stepped out from the manor. so strong that i wish you a great portion of its company. anyhow, it would have persevered, but the gray man sat beside me, now master of it with his bag, out of the second courtyard, and the snarl of a good many notes from printed books, but that some unseen magnetic force was pulling him to run in when the light beyond thinking that anything you will believe me, why, i am sorry to part with him. so i found myself looking across at them every now and again increase the power. they can be changed into a major's uniform. it was of war.
  5. Avatar

    Gibber Feb 10 2016 @ 17:56

    Here is a hauntingly beautiful and thought provoking story created from 13MB of text (Poe, Stevenson, Blackwood, Hodgson and others) and a computer program I wrote which snips and matches sections, allowing you to select the choice which works best. Their cheeks were withered and dried up, and he suffered day after day upon the island. I heard him telling, as though carefully weighing his words, a tale of adventure in South America four centuries ago, some of which was spoken with that species of grotesquerie in conception, which caused even Pedro to laugh. Pedro, with his peculiar mode of communicating motion and the marvel of that endless nagging in his mind. And now the cloud of dust and dry bones, given bread and flesh in apparent relish of the higher feelings of wonder and horror, began to bestir itself again. This latter task was becoming serious. Taking up the collection and proffering it to the worshipers while hiding in a bush that grew upward in the direction in which I did go for ever into the night, that dreadful night which pursued forever in such fashion, as you shall think, none of us forget. "For thousands of years," he began in his method of answering criticism, "it has been said that in an arid country are little platforms surrounded by comforting human influences, places haunted by some beautiful illusive thing." Of course, after a little sound came from that hot wind of his strange consciousness, he slept. Puffs of wind that should finally prove to be actually and essentially distinct and furious whiffs from his finite truths. Aye, he slept undisturbed till morning. He must have had more to tell; for there was something exciting in the dim light at the side of our camp, where I was mortally in dread of interruption by a familiar sound I have likened to the mighty voice of the past. "With man it is true - oh , Esmeralda," laughed the captain; "scarce the power to go forward without doing any material injury. If ye seek wealth thou shalt not kneel to me." And so he bade them farewell and sped merrily and lovingly fore and aft. The clouds drew apart, and into a chamber of love in the heavens. Aye! no shame befell me, be it known, I perceived that she carried a bunch of bananas, cocoa nuts, alligator soup, and a portion of the many new and wonderful dreams that are only found in the workmanship of the god of light reflected from some extensive pools of rain water in the sunlight, among patches of bleached bones, cactus and lava. But all to no end. The lady and her whole person was, in short, the God of War, impervious to any pain and intent upon the invention of a tangle of fates.
  6. Avatar

    PurpleProf Feb 10 2016 @ 23:12

    Love this, Gibber! How clever of you!!
  7. Avatar

    PurpleProf Feb 10 2016 @ 23:15

    Also, Chaz, thanks for mentioning tiddly winks. That made me smile from the get go...
  8. Avatar

    Chaz Feb 11 2016 @ 07:56

    Tiddly winks? Is there a mobile app for that? ;)
  9. Avatar

    Gibber Feb 11 2016 @ 11:19

    Thanks, PurpleProf!
  10. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Feb 11 2016 @ 20:07

    Ambikawolf, are you doing okay? Most of your folds seem rather brief and discontinuous.
  11. Avatar

    Dhanithecat Feb 11 2016 @ 22:48

    I am okay. I will do better.
  12. Avatar

    Dhanithecat Feb 13 2016 @ 10:39

    I can write some doozies about chicago!
  13. Avatar

    BlastedHeath Feb 13 2016 @ 10:49

    I've seen your recent folds -- you've been hiding your talent!
  14. Avatar

    Dhanithecat Feb 13 2016 @ 10:55

    Chicken and elephant holes are vietnamese slang for small and large potholes. You can run with that one. I now go to chicago to shop or see doctors, mostly. I lived there a short time and found it depressing.

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