It was doomed from the start. He liked Joy

It was doomed from the start. He liked Joy Division and Nick Cave, she liked Celine Dion and Susan Boyle. I'm not gonna say someone was right and someone was wrong, but, well,

but lets be frank, this was a total write-off only 15 minutes in and I would now need to come up with something to amuse me for the next hour. hmmm. Maybe I should tell her that

if you touch your elbows together it makes your tummy tighter. She proceeded to work on getting her elbows together for the next 45 minutes while I sat back with a few cold ones.

Eventually I ran out of beer. The fat girl still hadn't given up. Slightly disgusted, I got up and went to the garage. Opening the toolbox, I saw what I had been looking for:

chloroform. I quickly rinsed one of the rags I'd been using earlier that day, and headed back to show that bitch how we do things in this part of town. I'm not even sure she knew

what she was in for, but she knew by the end that I was not fucking around. I waved the wet rags in her face. "THIS IS HOW THINGS WORK HERE," I screamed, spittle flying from my lip

peppering her face and hair. Her eyes suddenly grew wide and round as saucers, her hands shaking in building rage. Having lost all self-control, she grabbed the wet rags and

wrung them out all over every electrical product radio shack had on display. She slapped the clerk, "Fuck you sonny, I'm not giving you my address." The assistant manager

walked over, demanded what was going on, and did what management only ever knows how to do: came up with a new problem instead of a workable solution. So the CSM decided that

as Colorado School of Mines they would look into the safety of natural gas fracking.. The Mining CEO shelved the idea and the Rocky Mountains turned into a giant sinkhole.