when i was sleeping while i saw a ghost with

  • when i was sleeping while i saw a ghost with blood stained in it"s mouth and was coming towards me with a hamburger with bloody worms and venom of snakes in the burger, i woke up..

  • my brother who was sleeping in the other bed. "Hey George! Burger delivery!" The mere mention of burgers was enough to send him into a ravenous frenzy. He lunged at the ghost and

  • jabbed at it with a butter knife, but it passed right through the shimmering ectoplasm. Ever persistent, ravenous George squirted mustard at the ghost and tried to play ketchup.

  • It needed more than dressing up as a mushed tomato constantly bleeding out tomato juice to represent some fancy catsup. On the questions that they throw at me I take an unusual

  • stance. Usually, I stood on my hands and wiggled my feet while answering. I was the best Hunts mascot ever. I met the Oscar Meyer hot dog man at a convention. It was

  • a tawdry, torrid affair, neither of us disrobing our mascot costumes, which muffled voices as well as hid faces. Lunch meat wouldn't be the same. I was full of bologna, literally.

  • Afterward, we smoked cigarettes, taking care not to singe our ridiculous plush lips. He fell asleep, and I wiggled carefully out of my mascot costume and ran to catch a cab home.

  • When I got home I managed to catch a quick shower. Then I dug myself into bed. I was dead to the world & the world to me. For 43 minutes. They called looking for my mascot costume.

  • I really didn't want to answer their call, but the bell was too loud to ignore it. They told me that they were going to pick up the costume in a few minutes. I hung up and ran away

  • And then it hit me - life's too short to run away all the time. I stopped, turned on my heel, and approached the door. When I answered it, my mind was blown. It was dad.



  1. LordVacuity Sep 17 2023 @ 23:43

    Only two months short of a decade to write this one.

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