I entered the stall and was startled when

I entered the stall and was startled when the toilet raised it's own lid, lit the bowel in an eerie neon light and said "

I am the Bowl of Christmas Past.." my face went flush at the talking toilet.

"I used to be at your grandparents house!", it said. I recognised it, I admitted. Then, it had a pull chain in the ceiling. That was long gone, thanks to modernisation.

It went from pull chain to clapper to voice recognition capabilities. They were on the cusp of creating one that could read a person's mind. You would only need to think about

take a breather. The lights briefly brightened at the prospect. What? You didn't know that lights need rest, too? It takes a lot of energy to illuminate a McMansion.

Everything needs to rest, and I've been busy enough to take a break.

Oh, how sweet it was to not wake up to the siren of an ambulance, hurrying to buy some wretched soul more time on Earth. And for what? I for one was perfectly happy in this remote

corner of the jungle where the only screams were the screams of chimpanzees high in the canopy, feasting on fruits and bugs. I would never again return to the city, but would make

a fool of myself swinging between vines like I was Tarzan, pot belly hanging out of my boxers. The chimps called me "Netflix" & spent the day cracking up & pointing at me. AAHHOOOO