The toast popped up and he caught it in the

The toast popped up and he caught it in the air. He got out the jar of boogers and slathered them on the toast, smiling at the thought of

Garfield the cat which was captured by a balloon. He ate his vegimite and thought, "That cat is naughty." That's when his stupid First Officer came up and interrupted him. "Sir, th

e Chief Engineer says the warp coils are jammed with a giant hairball & he can't get into the Engineering section because a fat Cat is blocking the Elevator shaft." Captain Catnip

pawed listlessly at his squeaky mouse on a string. "…and?" "And you're the captain?" said the crewman. Capt. Catnip yawned. "Go clear the fat cat from the shaft and save the day."

The crewman was pissed. "Fine" he said. But instead he went for a cat nap. When Capt. Catnip came on deck for his regular crew cut, there was thick black smoke billowing out of the

starboard nacelle of the catamaran USS Kitty Kitty. Captain Catnip had a cup of tea and some kitty krazies sent to the bridge. Despite the emergency, Capt. Catnip

couldn't stop licking himself. His paw was almost bald from all the washing. He needed to find a solution, and fast, before the Beowulfs of the free world took over and decimated h

is home and all he held dear. He hated Beowulf with a fiery passion, and nothing disgusted him more than that weasel's sword-wielding antics. He needed to find a way out. Fast!

He felt drumming fingers on slumped head. "Is my lecture so boring?" Professor Snyder whispered in his ear. He sat up with a start. "No-oo, sir! Beowulf fascinates me." he sleepily

retorted with a heavy sarcastic tone. Professer Snyder then went to his closet to hang himself.