Needless to say, my mind was not exactly

Needless to say, my mind was not exactly focused on the

first line of the story. I was a FoldingStory addict and had lost my job, wife and custody of the kids, the bank foreclosed, and now the police were here to evict me.

damning Alice when a panther escaped from the zoo and scratched up my face. It didn't kill me but I had these scars that made me look like hamburger. So I went to McDonald's and

stood in their boardroom. "Look, I know how much effort it takes to make your product look almost appetizing.". I grinned broadly. "Use my face. This face will sell your burgers.".

The execs stared at the yellow, smiley, 5-pointed star before them. Would this be the face of Hardee's? Was this job what they wanted to dedicate their lives to, after years of

teaching dolphins how to jump through hoops and understand Swahili? They weren't sure. At least, before they got a bite of their first Hardee Burger. That's when they knew

that all of them could, indeed, fornicate with these aquatic mammals in several orifices. Better yet, they're intelligent, so that makes it okay.

No one had told them you shouldn't let a dolphin be the pitcher. When a mishap landed one of them in hospital with a broken jaw, the rest tried taking the dolphins to court, but

the dolphin court turned out to be a kangaroo court! Since the kangaroos refused to accommodate the marine mammal who stood accused, the dolphin was found guilty in absentia.