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Needless to say, my mind was not exactly

  • Needless to say, my mind was not exactly focused on the

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  • first line of the story. I was a FoldingStory addict and had lost my job, wife and custody of the kids, the bank foreclosed, and now the police were here to evict me.

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  • But all I had for a computer was an old 1980's PC. I'd never be able to carry it through the streets and where could I plug it in. Damn Alice and her Face book any way. I was

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  • damning Alice when a panther escaped from the zoo and scratched up my face. It didn't kill me but I had these scars that made me look like hamburger. So I went to McDonald's and

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  • stood in their boardroom. "Look, I know how much effort it takes to make your product look almost appetizing.". I grinned broadly. "Use my face. This face will sell your burgers.".

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  • The execs stared at the yellow, smiley, 5-pointed star before them. Would this be the face of Hardee's? Was this job what they wanted to dedicate their lives to, after years of

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  • teaching dolphins how to jump through hoops and understand Swahili? They weren't sure. At least, before they got a bite of their first Hardee Burger. That's when they knew

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  • that all of them could, indeed, fornicate with these aquatic mammals in several orifices. Better yet, they're intelligent, so that makes it okay.

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  • No one had told them you shouldn't let a dolphin be the pitcher. When a mishap landed one of them in hospital with a broken jaw, the rest tried taking the dolphins to court, but

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  • the dolphin court turned out to be a kangaroo court! Since the kangaroos refused to accommodate the marine mammal who stood accused, the dolphin was found guilty in absentia.

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