Norman liked flapjacks, Yahtzee and ZZ Top

  • Norman liked flapjacks, Yahtzee and ZZ Top which made him a perfect

  • baker, shaker, and bluesy hit maker (respectively). He was a giver, not a taker or a smooth money raker. And no Laker within an acre ever found a faker Quaker.

  • For Nixon was fixin' to be mixin. Dick's win was when they got the picks in. But the fix was in and they got their licks in. He was at wit's end.

  • So Nixon and Dick Cheney solved their problems the only way they knew how: By cussing loudly into a tape recorder then playing it back at a higher pitch to see who had a funnier

  • "CK" sound. Oh yeah! Some historian is going to have a field day with this OPRA'd tape! "Hey, Nixon, do your impression of Agnew" Cheney had serious giggles. And the munchies. He

  • Nicon ordered meanie martinis for everyone.

  • After those were gone, he ordered banana daiquiris for everyone. After all bananas were gone, he ordered rum and coke for everyone. After all the rum and coke was gone, he ordered

  • fuzzy navels. After the navel fluff was out he ordered sex on the beach for the house. That's when his wife walked in."We're all out!" she deadpanned, grabbed him by his tie and

  • chemist Norman Stingley super ball tie tack, forced him down on all fours, and made him beg the bartender for a Suck, Bang & Blow!. "We're out of Cinnamon Schnapps!" the bartender

  • explained, peering down over the counter. "But I can fix you a nasty Salty Dog!". He whimpered his submission and was served. PETA agents stormed the bar. "Alcohol to dogs?!!". End



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