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The man sat in a tree, waiting for his wife

  • The man sat in a tree, waiting for his wife to call. How had he gotten himself into this predicament?
  • He knows the first thing she'll say: just because you're not a cat anymore doesn't mean you should be climbing trees.
  • So to prevent her frivolous nonsense from entering his consciousness he loaded a shotgun, rigged it so that when the front door opened it would blast her straight in the
  • face. Unfortunately, Avon called, and wouldn't be put off. The resulting explosion of tupperware
  • was impressive, who would think you could get such a big bang out of Mintos, Diet Cola, Horse shit and Cinnamon Red Hots. The Horse shit was just for flavor, The Red Hots added
  • consistency and the Mintos and Cola were for obvious reasons. I took out my recipe book and made a note to add Alka-Seltzer and Pop Rocks to my next attempt. But for now
  • I had plenty of time to contemplate my failure. Trapped as I was below 15 tons of concrete in the most hostile region on Earth, by people who thought I was a spy for a rival tribe,
  • I raged as hard as I could, figuring my only prayer of escape was to become a Super Saiyan. However, I only raged hard enough to become the Hulk. Hoping that was enough, I
  • at least maintained my dignity, apart from whatever injury wanting to be the former option left me with. The universe hated me my choice and sought to drop a hammer into my face
  • but changed its mind and let me get run over by a busload of people on their way to a Optimists convention, instead.
Started
2011-02-14 23:56:33
Finished
2011-09-13 00:37:34

1 Comments

  1. Avatar

    m80 May 28 2013 @ 12:11

    Hey all, a fan has put this story is in FoldingStory Vol. 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdAkkIB1YkE

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